Claron has something to say

Maybe a bit too late for this now but this is the only ‘free’ time i can find and its in the middle of the night.

During the holidays, quite a few incidents made me learn a lot. In Dec 2008, my grandma passed away,peacefully. However this incident gave me alot of information on human’s  life.

1) The impermanence of life- The nothing called forever, everything is everchanging even when one is dead. The funeral was held for 7 days, everyday I would spend some time staying beside the coffin to chant some prayers for my grandma. I see that her face changes day by day. The skin slowly dries up.

2) We don’t always get what we want- I know my grandma wasn’t granted what she wished for. Few days before her death, she asked to be brought home as she said she didn’t want to die in the hospital. In the end, she passed away in the hospital and for this i felt very bad even thought theres nothing i could before her death.

I love my grandma and i know she loves me too. The only thing i could do for her i just to chant and pray for her. And I finally understand the life of human. People can leave just in a split second. I seriously think that we should treasure everyone around us, give all our love to them.

I would be returning to my orchestra this coming Thursday.  Really don’t whats the orchestra will be doing after quite a long break. Hope that the new year will bring me new excitement and great experience. No more of ’suprises’.

In the middle of the night…continue doing my leftover home works…the story goes on and on…the little boy stayed up through out the night…

…to be continued

That’s All Folks.

Stay tune for the next episode!

Promos over for quite a period of time already . I have also gotten back my results long ago liao. Guess what? I finally passed my promos. Really finally. Took a hard time this year. Now, i am really looking forward my JC2, guess it would be challenging and wonderful for me. After this promo, i really felt that i have no regrets for coming to JC. Actually since i received my results last yr, after i got the news that i would be retained, i was wondering whether JC was the right route for my tertiary education. My mindset was still not settled even until september this year.  Nevertheless, i still tried, i still work hard. And now my goal is to UNI, no doubts bout that. My ‘OLD FRIEND’ came back to me. He gave me hope. and his name, initial M. Haha!

On thurs, 23 oct, i took out all my instruments. To my horror, my erhu was jus like a jigsaw puzzle, unfixed. The bow was on it own, the strings were broken, the bridge dropped off, and the pegs too. May have neglected it for too long, 2 yrs nv touch it liao. And splendid! I discovered smth, i am a genius (JOKING) i managed to get everything back to orginal and changed a new pair of strings. The sound produced the the silver strings were fabulous.

And thats all folks!

After reading all my posts today finally i discovered something, i read all the so called ‘poems’ i wrote and HAHA!!! I was laughing away. So funny, it was so mediocre, it should not be produced by someone like me. So CHILDISH and amusing. Alamak! Wad was i thinking when i wrote all that stuffs? even a secondary school student can produce something better.

Promos coming, how? hai, still not working very hard for it. But still i am scared, retained 1 year already and this year passed so fast, even before i realised it , now is already september. 20 more days to promos. How am i going to survive it? Hopefully i can make it and i must make it.

It was a bright, beautiful and cool saturday morning. So unusual was that special morning. Went for the concerto audition. It was so freak out i didn’t even know how to react to it. What should i be thinking of ? No tone, no rhythm, no everything. I was so tense. The mindset wasn’t right maybe. Physically prepare but not mentally. Maybe i should not have gone for this audition.

Furthermore, the day didnt just end like that. The rest of the day was worse. I didn’t like the feeling of being so restless. Cannot stand myself phsically in the orchestra but my mind was elsewhere. Wasn’t paying attention throughout the 3 hours. There was so many things that came across my mind. Suddenly i feel so empty, so sad.

Yesterday – Beatles

Suddenly
I’m not half the man I used to be
There’s a shadow hanging over me
Oh, yesterday
Came suddenly

Today is chinese valentine’s day. Ha…tot would be quite a boring day for me though to me its jus an ordinary Thursday. Dreaded… having a long day in school after that still need to go SYO. Quite a tiring day. However i received a surprise today haha haha haha congrats me man! I ‘ve got back my chem test results. Thinking that i would fail, but never did I accomplished that. I PASSED! GOT a B haha haha haha!

Sometimes i really think that there will be something that we dun wan or must not come to noe about. Quoting from 郑板桥’s famous idiom‘难得糊涂’  i seriously think that we must act blur sometimes. So traumatizing. maybe would be better to let me live in a Land Of Delusion.

心情就有如天崩地裂。不知道说什么才好

果真是落花有意流水无情， 像歌曲里唱的一样…无缘到面前与君分杯水

恨也！

Nothing so much to write about today but jus wanna say wad happened the past few days of my week. Got quite fed up with myself too look at the title of the post you will know whats’ it all about. Days spent were so damn.

Nv concentrated on my work haiz…

Thats all, Folks

I was wondering for the past few days whether do i really like you. Somehow i actually was expressing sympathy, don’t know why i see sadness in you. Now i don’t even know whether it is sympathy or love. I know this sounds quite weird and kiddish but this question haunted me this few days and the kind of feeling had made me wasted a lot of time. I don’t want to waste my time, my life and my energy on all these useless matter. I am still waiting for an answer…

不会唱情歌

唱情歌的人总是经过感情上的挫折。

没有在感情上受到挫折的人，

往往不能把情歌中的意思唱出来。

也许我只能唱。。。

我爱你！

-忧

Here’s something i want to post for my special fren:

缺月挂疏桐，漏断人初静。

谁见幽人独往来？缥缈孤鸿影。

惊起却回头，有恨无人省。

拣尽寒枝不肯栖，寂寞沙洲冷。

-苏轼 《卜算子》

Written by 苏东坡， this was for a girl he loved but he did not express his love.I am experiencing wad he had experienced. 感同身受。The feeling is very uncomfortable. Here I am, alone, thinking of you but you are not aware of it.

暗恋你。。。

只有自己爱上你的夜里我不知所措，

等着，心痛就像黑夜一样的来临。

整夜在追逐梦中的你， 我要怎么告诉你我爱你？

想让我自己忘记你， 但又怕后悔一生。

我不知道该怎么办? 我进退两难 . . .

嘉伦 字

-完

Okok sounds unfamiliar? Thats the word obsessed in italian haha…

Me obsessed…with wad?…

Somehow these few days are screwed up. The first thing i’m gonna mention is about my waking time. dunno why I’ve been getting out of bed late these few days. Luckily it didn’t affect my punctuality, still on time reaching school.

Next thing is that since my return from that foreign land, I’ve been very forgetful. Forget to bring TYS, my econs text, my ws, worse still today i had my chem SPA and after the entire SPA, i just left the lab without even knowing that my graphic calculator and my pencil case was still on my bench!!! WTH!!! GC! To think that I could even forget bout my most important stationery. Luckily my classmate got it for me…haizzzzzzz.

Know why? Cos being obsessed by a girl…God! who are you? You deeply affected this few days of my life and maybe for the time being or even longer. It was such a heart pain to see myself so obsessed with you . You are always on my mind. How can i ever not think of you? Images of you in my heart, my mind. You came in to my life and i lost my soul.