Practising mindfulness (in everything) allows me to see my real true self.
So you may ask, what is a real true self?
The real true self may seem more negative than what we actually see. For myself, I have been trying hard to forsake many things including play, shopping(buying things personal likings) etc. But it is actually hard to do so. The more I try to give(share), the more i see the selfishness in me, it is a feeling i would not want to have.
I want to love, but most of the time i actually do love myself more. I have been telling myself to love the people around me but it is very hard to do so. I was thinking how can love the people i dislike? I think this is something no ordinary man can achieve. I often say I dislike not hate, but how to differentiate both? Even a dislike is something negative though not as deep as hate.
You may think what I have wrote is negative, but then think again…when you see the negative side of yourself, you will want to change for the better, life is never easy, taking things step by step, for Rome wasn’t built in the day. For now i see imperfection, but the defilement will one day be eliminated and i shall reach perfection =)
